“I Can’t Believe This is My Life”

Your younger self would never have imagined that this would be your life. You were supposed to be happy by now: in a loving relationship, filled with hope and self-confidence, sure of your next steps. You didn’t expect life to be perfect, but it was supposed to make sense. You feel stuck, desperate, less sure of yourself, more anxious. The evidence of your failure seems to show up in your body and emotions, in your finances, in unanswered prayers, and in strained relationships with people you love.

 In the low moments, you question your lovability, purpose, value, and desirability. Hope is fleeting. Self-confidence is inconsistent. Joy is missing. You’re ashamed. You lost faith—in yourself, in relationships, in society, in God. You feel caught between giving up and trying one more time.

 How Did This Happen?

You’re confused about where you went wrong. You followed the rules. You learned new skills. You read books. You found the “right” partner. You didn’t ask for too much, and you gave what you had. You prioritized your self-care, education, and career like your parents and the experts advised. If you did everything right, how did it end up like this?

This happened partly because life is unpredictable and uncontrollable. People made choices that blindsided you. Loss occurred. Life transitions took you by surprise. The rug was pulled out from under you. Remnants of the past kept showing up and destabilized your mental, physical, and emotional health.

Here’s an uncomfortable truth: some of this happened because of old habits that you recycle in new situations. You still avoid difficult conversations. You wait to be rescued. You rush to fix things that you haven’t paused to understand. You chase the need to prove yourself. You concede your power and quiet your voice. Your fascination with fear distracts you from your vision. You prioritize “keeping the peace” over creating peace. You are driven by emotions, even when that means not allowing yourself to feel them.

Where Do I Go from Here?

There are multiple paths forward. One path is to continue what you have been doing, knowing that you will keep getting what you’ve been getting. Another path is to throw it all away to start from scratch. A third option is a path that I can help with: acceptance of life as it is and redirection toward what you truly desire.

Acceptance of your reality begins with grounding in the here-and-now. Together we would name the behaviors, thoughts, feelings, longings, fear, pain, and hope that often go unspoken and unaddressed but that reactivate disappointing cycles. We would also explore your history—those important moments in your life that have shaped you, led to your current reality, and that cast a shadow over your vision of the future. We would play with new possibilities and opportunities to reimagine what is right for you instead of what you were told was right.

Redirection will naturally occur as clarity emerges. If you allow the transformation, you will begin to sense and speak about your desired path forward. Your confidence in yourself will develop as you make small, yet bold moves in our sessions, and it will spread into other areas of your life.

 Why Should You Trust Me? 

What I offer to individuals and couples is a combination of relatability, a love for counseling, academic preparation, specialized training, and lived experience. Our stories may not overlap situation-for-situation, but we share core elements. I understand the disappointment of certain turns that life takes. I know how unfulfilled longings create personal doubt and shame. I know what it is like to feel foolish for getting my hopes up or for not making a change sooner. I have had to reimagine my life, change my inner narratives, move through feeling unsure, and embark on new paths that have not always been clear. I have also benefited from therapeutic and personal support to work through these things.

When you’re ready, I invite you to schedule a phone call with me so we can consider next steps. Let’s see how we can turn “how did I get here” to “I remember when I used to be there.”